Shades-IX

Tammy was afraid with the real senses returning back to her. But was she was more afraid about was loosing the smile that ankush had carried in the entire journey till now. She couldn't afford loosing such a precious thing in her life. After "HIM" it was Ankush alone who had managed reviving her back into what she was actually.It was Ankush itself who has made her realize how special she was ,as "HE" used to do earlier. She was very deeply afraid of loosing the same. Tammy even though knew that this wasn't a serious issue. Even then the lost things in her life made her react in such a strange manner.She no longer could take it and rushed towards Ankush from the door of the coach, she was traveling in. She hadn't realized her walk out of the coach thinking about all these things.
She entered the coach with a thud and headed towards Ankush, clearing the people coming in the mid-way. She was in such a rush, that she even knocked down one of the luggage bag of one of the fellow passengers. As the bag fell with a thud sound on the ground, she remembered the very instance when "HIS" bag had fallen in her lap. Collecting back her conscience, she once again headed to Ankush as if she would miss some train if she didn't reach in time.
Reaching Ankush's seat , she threw a deep breath as she hadn't taken any pauses in the entire run. Taking two more deep breaths, she went right in front of Ankush. Lifting his face and carrying it in her soft hands she held it upwards.Ankush red nose and rosy cheeks due to anger made her smile instantly. She smiled at her and kissed his forehead saying, " You are more valuable to me than any thing else I could ever have in my life".
The very next moment the kiddo with all her strength kissed and hugged her back. They Hi-Fived each other and continued with the same rhythm and happiness.

Shades-VIII

"Realizing his nervousness, I withdrew my direct looks from his face. Even I didn't want to create an unusual situation for none of us.Today he got down few stoppage before the one he took last time. I was very inquisitive but still tried being calm and composed as this wasn't suiting my profile, to be so impatient. Also there were fair chances of my friends catching a hold of my impatience that would be the biggest disaster. There was definitely something or some connection between us but couldn't realize the same." continued Tammy. Ankush with the same smile plastered all over his face looked at her, as if wanted to ask  Tammy some important question.
Raising her eyebrows, Tammy asked the Kiddo what it was. Ankush hurriedly jumped to his question as if was waiting for this particular ball to be in his court.He impatiently poured his thoughts," Tammy cross your heart and tell me something". Tammy was puzzled,but he kept insisting her to do the same. Finally Tammy crossed her heart for his sake.After being relieved with Tammy's crossed heart, Ankush continued," Didn't the same situation happen to you when you met me. I know you will feel shy saying that but let me know dear. Its totally ok. Tell me if you felt the same for me as well."
Tammy laughed at the end of her strength for the same. She felt all her vocal cords touched with such rolled on laughters, knots being tied in her stomach , she had had after meeting the kiddo. She just pulled his chubby and fairly pink cheeks and continued," I felt even more desperate after seeing you kiddo, I felt why were you such a late entry in my life. Why didn't you come earlier in my life." , and she started laughing again. She laughed till her stomach really ached.
Ankush was very smart and could understand the fun Tammy was making of him. He turned his face away from her, a little angry and upset. Suddenly Tammy realized his turn around and pulled him to her, "What happened kiddo? Why are you upset? Are you angry on something?" ,Tammy noticed his fairly pink face turning red and signs of anger floating all over the same.  Ankush didn't reply on even a single question of hers and buried his face even more deeper in his arms folded around his knee.
Tammy now felt really bad on hurting the kiddo as she was just kidding. It was her very old nature that she had carried. But with the practical life in full pace, she had avoided the same. She realized that she had again encountered her same behavior today, after such a long.
 She also realized that she had done this with only people close to her.She never kept any boundaries for them and in due course somehow hurt them without any realization.Same was the situation today. She started thinking about ways to bring back the same Ankush ,as it was ages ,she had felt the same. She didn't want to loose Ankush nor the real personal side of hers, returned in her.

Shades-VII

"Even trying to concentrate on my day dreaming fantasies, I was not able to concentrate. The sight of the sweet benevolent smile was disturbing the momentum of my dreams.Trying to concentrate on my dream track was getting really difficult, until he was seated besides me. Suddenly his rising from his seat ,caught my attention and  I started looking straight at him, thinking he was leaving the bus. Even he could easily understand my desperate look ,but suddenly, realizing the googly I turned my looks away from him, immediately. As a gentle man he got up to offer his seat to a needy old lady. This was the second thing that impressed me about him. From the very first moment I knew that I was thinking about him in vain, but was helpless in avoiding it. Finally my destination called me towards stepping away from the fantastic journey I was into.But the dream world ,his first glimpse had created was still flowing in the air. It was the first day I didn't want to step down the bus, even though I was about to reach home for my favorite lessons ,as already said I was mad working hard to tag my name with the two valuable initials "Dr."But I got down pretty sure that I would never meet him again.It was the my first night that went totally sleepless, no MCQs solved, infact number of new MCQs revolved around me.Totally helpless and clueless ,some how  I managed   1-2hrs sleep that got ruined with my morning alarm. It was difficult to believe, but had to believe that I was thinking about something apart from my life's dream.
Two days passed , same bus ,same route and same time , but what was not same was the one whom my eyes really wanted to look for.I started consoling myself that it was just a blow of a wind , that came and went.So, it would be fruitful to concentrate back on my already made dream ,rather than building a new one. But ,there is a famous saying,"Everything is pre-written and nothing can be re -written", the same happened with me. The complete week went on and I started to gel back with my studies but suddenly with a blow again I met him. The scarf on my face couldn't make him recognize me, but the smile on his face made me realize every bit of him even more than before. I kept looking at him and I could even realize his nervousness due to my continuous and static looks, straight into his eyes, that too from such a near view.", Suddenly Tammana stopped speaking at the sight of Ankush's expression that were so pure to personify. Ankush kept on smiling and listening to the story as if a movie was being played right in front. He kept on flowing the small packets of his emotions, accompanying Tammy's fairy world story.

Shades-VI

Tamanna's never ending silence was something that Ankush was really worried about, because all the words she spoke were understandable,but understanding the unspoken words was really difficult, for the 8 yr old.Somehow managing his confusion he could convince Tammy at out bursting her mind to him and deliver the words flow once again.Tammy started with a very low tone, " It was a very unrealistic incident when I crossed him in the roads of my journey called life. Most unexpected but true it was as I could say now.The most common but equally the most uncommon way it was the way we met or better to say we spoke. I used to travel via buses for my college. In fact, buses had a really great value in my life,since childhood days. It was my second home since school days and the same continued till college days. I enjoyed my 1 hr journey all around the beautiful land scape, new people and many unexpected experiences, everyday. I loved it as each day brought some thing new with it, that some times taught new things and sometimes even irritated the most. But still the 2 hrs of my journey ,to and fro, were the most relaxing and awesome time I used to spend with me. It was one fine day when coincidentally or better to say accidentally ,I met him for the first time. He jumped into the bus and looking at the same vacant seat we both went on to fetch the same. He stamped on my feet and I felt stamping him even harder, thanks to my competitive nature for boys.I controlled my anger as he slowly said , "Sorry", as if he really meant and felt really the same. Even though not actually excusing him but I said , "Its completely fine", as a descent revert. After all I had won my seat in the bus and that too from a boy. That very feeling itself made my anger disappear in vain.I continued with my daily routine of gazing outside the window, flowing out of bus's boundary, lost in my dreamworld of achieving everything I desired,on my on cards.Suddenly a bag fell in my lap ,and I turned my head with such a great rage and anger ,as if I would kill the one who was disturbing my peaceful dreams execution process.But my anger melted at the very next moment as the person with such a sweet smile and guilt apologized, saying, "I am really sorry again, I got a push and lost hold on my bag, I am really really sorry." I just couldn't say a single word rather than accepting his apology. This was the 1st mistake I did, even though realizing that I was at the fault side.But at times its really true that you Just Can't Help It. I had never spared anyone if I find them guilty and I very well knew that he was guilty at that moment but couldn't say a single word. Don't know why but something from inside kept me away from saying a single word, and I again started looking out of the window , pondering on such an unusual behavior of mine."

Shades-V

Her never ending silence was broken when Ankush  called her aloud asking, "Plz continue Tammy, its very interesting,I really want you to go on." She just smiled at his innocence and back in the real world continued her words for Ankush, “It was completely unexpected that was happening with me. I had always been a very strict girl, when it came about studies, career and not to forget, boys getting over- friendly to me. As it was very clear in my mind that I didn’t want to ruin my dreams falling in the pit of shit, as I considered it since then. There had been many guys proposing and being after me but I never wanted to be in any loop. It was some Black Friday that I came in contact with him.”
 Ankush even more excited, but a little tensed kept looking at her, and expected more out of her. Tammy was even more surprised with the level of involvement he was showing in her story. She had never expected that an 8 year old would understand her better than the rest of the world. At times wonders happen and not to forget “Exceptions Are Always There”. She could  feel the level of concern he had for her ,and it made her remember of the someone who was once equally concerned for her. She smiled and continued, “ I always wanted to be a Doctor and really had to work hard for the same. I never spared time for other stuffs that a teenage girl would love doing, instead I considered it as a waste of money and resources. This also shows that I was good at debate and idealistic talks and not to forget I was always appreciated for the same. But when time and destiny throws a yoker , one can’t help being clean bold or move on to a sixer. But in my case it was a clean bold even after being completely aware that a full toss yoker is driving in. I couldn’t do anything except getting into it. There was no other option in my Multiple Choice Question assignment for the first time. It came like a blow and blew away every little thing in Me.”, she took a pause as she completed the last word. She felt she was flowing in the Pacific ocean of emotions and was not able to even hide a single flow of her emotional elements ,that were running in her mind since 5 long years. 

Shades-IV

"I was the most amazing girl during my school ans college",started Tamanna."Everyone called me an all rounder, good at sports and great at studies as well, music , dance, designing, everything one could think was on my cords", she continued.Girls were jealous and boys admired her and teachers portrayed her egs.

She went on and on with her story and the kiddo kept on listening with full concentration as it was his first science class. Tamanna kept on saying about her awards and rewards she earned in the meanwhile. Ankush was astonished about her story and kept listening as if some super story was on. “I was an all rounder girl, who would even take challenges with boys; in fact I loved taking such challenges. I was best in studies and would even give complex to boys when it came to sports. Bicycle rides to bike rides were all the stages at which I had challenged bunch of boys and won as well”, replied Tammy. The kiddo replied astonishingly, “Really, Is it possible that a girl can defeat and challenge a boy?” Tammy smiled and explained him the answer to it, “Girls are not weak and if they decide to win, nothing in this world can change it. Girls are very deterministic and would compromise any comfort to achieve what they desire”, added Tammy. “But at times she forgets her strength and power  in her inner self, and  then comes the stage, where she starts forgetting herself and in the due course starts loosing herself”, Tamanna said and went into her never ending silence.

Shades-III

Her eyes were so expressive that even the thick eyelashes she wore couldn't hide them. She was dumb stricken and speechless.But Ankush was still sitting confident and smiling a little as if he was analyzing her deeply. The very next moment he  broke his silence and asked her," will you mind if I ask you something?". Tamanna was thinking about the next disastrous question the little monster would frame in the most prettiest way. But still she replied," Yes you can kiddo..". Ankush impatiently asked, "Firstly, Can I call you Tammy?".Tammana smiled in consent. The very next moment he again asked," Will you please tell me about your Boy Friend,Tammy?". Her ears turned towards every word he spoke, she was not able to belief what the little monster had asked a few seconds ago. He again said," I won't mind if you had one or many earlier, my deal is always open for you." She couldn't resist herself from laughing out loud. She laughed until her stomach ached and her beautiful eyes got filled with tiny drops of tears. Looking straight into her eyes Ankush again asked her the same question ,as if he had decided not to go with his name this time, no full stop until he would know everything. She looked at him helplessly as if she was neither being able to resist disclosing it all nor was being able to keep it secret. Finally the 8 yr old's innocence melted all her emotions that she had hidden since last 5 yrs, behind her strict and practical purview. She smiled wiping the last tear drop in her eyes. The kiddo was assured that he will definitely get a yes from her side. The very next moment she put her consent, that she would tell her the entire story only if he could keep it secret. She was herself not being able to believe that she was relying and trusting an 8 yrs old in such  a crook world. But to some extent she was pretty sure and confident about what she was doing.